I mean… come on we all know the reason.
During my life at home for a couple of months, there were countless times where I told myself that I was going to get my ass off and do something. But in reality, I did nothing. Like nothing.
I basically spent the whole day (actually all days) on YouTube or laying in my bed. Basically, nothing interesting was happening. As days passed, I started to realize how much time I’ve wasted and then in a blink of an eye… a couple months flew by. I started to realize that during this time at home, I made a lot of mistakes.
Because I was so caught up spending my mind and eyes on the computer or my phone, I totally neglected myself. My inner self was thrown out to the side with no regards. And when I fully lost it (not just my touch with writing…but my brain too), I started to think about it. You don’t realize until you lose it.
Writing was such a big thing to me, but I soon realized that I couldn’t step forth into that world again. Writing used to be such a big part of my life. I spent so much time journaling and self-reflecting (almost daily) in college. It was a way for me to reflect and think about all the events and thoughts that were part of my life.
It was my daily ritual and part of morning or night routine. I could let myself free and enjoy the peace and quiet of just hearing my pen and a notebook. Whether it was lying in bed or sitting on my desk staring outside, it was beautiful. It was just plain and simple.
I didn’t have any distractions, I let everything out. Nothing had to be grammatically correct, it just had to be my honest thoughts. However, the hobby that thrived in college didn’t last long when I came back.
I lost my touch with writing and obtaining cute journals. My schedule was messed up and everything was messed up. Now that I’m looking back at it right now, I actually wish I was able to write more and record the whole process of being home for so long.
I would have been able to document the quiet and peaceful days away from people. Before I was a very extroverted person… I would say. I was always outside hanging out with people and I always felt like I needed to go outside instead of just staying at home. But these three months have taught me to just spend some time at home relaxing and enjoying myself. You are not forced, and nobody is pushing you to go outside now because you’re under restrictions.
The thing is you never have to force yourself to go out. Even though it’s not always polite to say no. But every once in a while, give yourself a break and follow your heart. This time that I was at home, I was really able to think about my priorities and realize that in moments in life there is a need to take a break. There is a need to just step back and just do what you want to do. Instead of feeling like you need to go outside and be obligated to hang out with people.
I mean being social is nice and sometimes we need it. Because being at home for too long always hits a breaking point where we explode. We are social animals, so sometimes things won’t stop us. No one ever wants to regret a decision and miss out on a big opportunity or chance to do something fun or interesting.
There just needs to be a balance in life. There still is a need to improve on yourself, mental health, and everything. Learning to focus on oneself when you’re just alone is such an important part of maturing and it’s all about self-growth.
I really realized that journaling is a part of that because it lets you pause, and it makes you reflect on everything that happens in life. It’s not just seeing things as it goes by and completely forgetting about it the next day. Journaling forces you to think and look ahead into the future.
One more big plus is the fun of looking back at an old journal filled with so many stories and memories. After five or ten years, I can go back and look at that journal. It would be a walk down memory lane. “Wow all that stuff happened to me.”
I felt like it’s such a loss for me not that I didn’t update and wasn’t consistent. I mean it is what it is. I know that it is a loss, but at the same time I guess I could say that instead of living life with a strict schedule in college… I was able to do things freely.
I like setting things perfectly, but it can be very draining. I got these three months to just relax and do nothing allowed my mind to just go by itself. I let everything flow naturally and not counting the days and marking everything. I wasn’t on a strict schedule. I wasn’t forced to record anything that was going on in life.
I see that these three months without journaling there are pros and cons. I could’ve been reflecting on all those YouTube videos and the Netflix shows, but did I really want to? NO. I could’ve maybe gone into a deeper dive into the characters and have a big analysis of everything I watched. But also, just giving this time to just not do nothing is also a very good thing to have.
I chose to catch up on shows and things that I couldn’t when I was in college. I was so busy last year, and I couldn’t do nothing and lay around all day. Because of this whole experience, I have learned about life and timing. Even though journaling is so important to me, I realized that sometimes the important things if life sometimes also needs a break. We can’t always be workaholics in any aspect of life. Whether it’s exercise or staying on top of your game.
I know a lot of crazy and bad and negative things have happened during these months. It was a very hard time for many people. Many of us had to learn to adapt to and last-minute changes and surroundings. It was hard for all of us. Losses were crazy, but we all learned. We are still learning today. Things happen, and really, we can’t do much about them. But learn and learn and learn.
Many people were able to find creative outlets to let themselves feel better. Especially prolonged times of doing nothing and gaining weight, many of us reached a point where we had to make some changes. The lifestyle and mindset changes have all taught us what is important to us and for our mental health. This has shed light on our wellbeing and health.
I am thankful for my break but yes, I’m going to go back to journaling. Today, I just went off on my journals. I wrote in every single one. I neglected them for so much time. I want to go back to having my self-care and comfort for myself and no one else.
Writing brings inspiration and reflection into my life. I don’t have all my thoughts cluttered in my head. I appreciate the time I can set aside for myself to write anything. I need to follow a special strict schedule, and I’ll fall in love with this process again.
We just have to make sure we don’t lose that routine like I did. The three months went by so quick, and each time I tried I justified with stupid excuses. I wasted a lot of time not doing things I wanted to because of laziness.
I missed out. I would’ve been more productive, and I would’ve been able to self-praise and comment on everything and make myself more productive. I sound like an influencer, gosh. But yea I gave myself a break, and now it is time for me to get back to being productive and working hard.
Everyone we can do it! If something is important in your life, even if you miss the chance, go back! GO back and get it back into your life. Meaning everything!
Meanwhile: Someone out there is starting two more new shows on Netflix because she can’t control herself. Gosh technology these days.
I think I lied…It’s been a little longer than three months up to today. Peace.
